Undoubtedly by now, presuming anyone is reading this (which they must be since YOU are…hi, you!), at least one person has noted that “these aren’t tacky”. To which I say, absolutely correct. If you love them, if you hate them, if you feel absolutely ambivalent but like to disagree with me in principle, that’s fine.
*I* call them tacky and I love them. Some of it is probably to do with my location, smack dab in the middle of the United States.
Today’s list includes some ornaments from Other Places! Those of you from the Midwest will appreciate these as delightfully “different”. Those of you from the non-Midwest can always pretend to be Midwestern by slapping your knees and saying, “Ope, it’s about that time!”
Very good. Let’s proceed.
SANTA ECHIDNA 🎅
This adorable baby was brought to me from Australia and makes me happy every time I see it. Also it has a cloaca!
CHRISTMAS HERMIT CRABS 🐚🦀
I have so many of these that I just picked my favorite enormous baby to Represent. As a landlocked individual who can reach the ocean by a mere 15 hour drive, the idea of having tree crabs will never cease to amuse me. Your mileage may vary.
CHOOSE YOUR OWN RHINO 🦏
Apparently there are two types of people who put a rhinoceros on their tree and I am both of them.
BEWILDERED SPARKLE OCTOPUS 🐙
Not gonna lie I always feel a little guilty for putting this baby on my tree. He seems so confused. But pretty sure if I put him in the ocean he’d just shatter. Life is full of compromises.
CANDY CANE CACTUS SHERIFF 🌵
“Don’t none of you varmints gets any ideas about stealin’ the presents or its candy canes at high noon!”
???????????? 🤔
Right. So clearly it’s…an animal of some kind. But the longer you look at it the more you realize it doesn’t have the correct features for…anything. The people who sold it to me gathered together at the checkout and decided it was “a jackalope” but it clearly isn’t. I’m going with Christmas Chupacabra and am careful not to hang any goat ornaments near it.
So there you have it, installment 2 of my tacky tree! (I feel like we really bonded there, over the chupacabra.) Next time I promise to talk about something else, but I *will* have more ornaments in a few more posts later this month, because I LOVE THEM. Feel free to either anticipate or dread those posts as you see fit. Until then? Stay silly. Stay safe.
If you’re not tired of the festive weirdness yet, head to:
Tacky Tree Part 3
So did I mention I’ve been doing this tacky tree thing for a long time? “How many tacky ornaments can she HAVE,” I can hear people wondering, with either delight or alarm. Um…20 years worth? See, when I graduated from college (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth 🦖) I moved into a half of a little duplex all by myself. When Christmas rolled around I …
Did you folks design the acorn necklace or did they arrive already dressed up?
Looks kinda like a dog squirrel? Squirrelly collie? Love the sequined rhino. Definitely a winner. 😁